The Importance of Balancing Our Male and Female Energies

Over the past century the lines between how males and females behave have been challenged. This is part of our evolutionary growth, but it has caused what have been our traditional roles to become somewhat blurred.

Part of the reason for much of the confusion and conflicts between males and females has been, and still is, the misunderstanding of our male and female energies, the understanding of their interrelationship, and how to use them as they were intended.

The male and female energies are the epitome of the duality that underlies all aspects of the Universe. The concept of Yin/Yang in the Chinese philosophies suggests that this duality is made up of opposing forces – which at the same time are complementary – and that these contradictory forces need to be in balance, otherwise chaos ensues.

We all hold both male (doer, builder, protector) and female (passive, nurturer, communicator) energies within our beings, however, this has nothing to do with being in a male or female body. They are energetic vibrations – and neither is more important than the other.

Even though we all do hold both of these energies within us, we usually have an overriding male or female energetic slant. The degree to which the standard male and female qualities manifest within us is influenced by our individual personalities, as well as by our sexual orientation – no matter which body we are in.

Many in male bodies hold the dominant male energy, while others hold the dominant female energy. Similarly, many in female bodies hold the dominant female energy, while others hold the dominant male energy. Within both sexes, those who have held the opposite dominant energy to what society has deemed appropriate have been shunned, or worse, when they expressed their sexuality authentically.

Our dominant energy is intended to be our main way of being in the world, with the secondary one – the less prevalent energy, supporting it. When we are emotionally balanced and being true to our self the positive features of the overriding energy lead the way, with the secondary one influencing it. It keeps it in check.

Although diametrically opposed, these male and female energies both hold the same value: they are intended to complement and support each other. Those holding the dominant male energy are intended to boldly create, while still maintaining a compassionate approach.

Those with the gentler female energy are to bring nurturing to the world, while remaining empowered. Taking into account the strength of the overriding energy, both of these energies are required to maintain somewhat of a balance between doing and being. Properly allowed, the secondary energy ensures this balance.

The male and female energies are both necessary for balance because although they are separate, they are part of each other, as illustrated in the Yin/Yang symbol. In The Soul of the Messenger, G. W. Hesketh explains:

“The Yin/Yang symbol [image removed, shown below] contains an element of its opposing force within each half by depicting a white dot in the black half of the symbol, and a black dot in the white half. The element of each within the other conveys that dual natures are not separate from each other; rather they are inclusive, and represent extremities of the same thing.” (1)

The Importance of Balancing Our Male and Female EnergiesThese two energies are a part of each other and are vital to each other – as they are to all aspects of our existence. Ensuring that they shine forth in us individually as our personalities and life purposes dictate will help bring balance to our world.

We need to ensure that whichever dominant energy people hold that they are validated for who they are. People who are doers and achievers need to be given respect for all that they are and encouragement in all that they do, or attempt to do.

Gentle nurturing people need to be given respect for all that they are, the space to voice their thoughts and ideas – and be listened to, and appreciated for the more-subtle aspects they bring to their relationships, and to the world.

Until this is all fully reintegrated within us as individuals, we still have to deal with the ripple effects of how society has expected us to behave regarding our gender roles and sexual orientations.

Our attitudes and how it should bes’ are so entrenched in who we are it will take time for many of us to find the appropriate balance of allowing our male and female energies to guide us, for our dominant energy to shine forth in positive ways, and for society and our laws to catch up in allowing and supporting people to express their true natures without repercussions.

Whether we are in male or female body, whichever dominant energy we hold, and however our sexuality wants to express itself, many of us have had to suppress the parts of our true nature that did not align with what society accepted in an effort to fit in and/or to protect ourselves. This is left-over from our past history.

(This article/blog post is based on concepts in my book Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science. Book Synopsis is found here).

Archetypes Act As Conduits to Help Us, and to Strengthen Latent Qualities Within Us

This Imbalance Is a Left-over from Our Past

The world we have grown up in has focused on, been built upon, and promoted males – men who held the alpha, doer, protection-oriented energy. It denounced males with a dominant female energy and females with a dominant male energy. This created pushes-and-pulls between the sexes. Conflicts and inequalities arose. Imbalances followed. This perpetuated itself.

We are all gods and goddesses. And when we access the fullness of our true natures we express our godliness out into the world – with confidence and integrity. When part of our true nature is suppressed, our dominant energy can become corrupted and negatively affect our attitudes and behaviors.

As those with the dominant male alpha energy suppressed the female energy within them, the power it held often morphed into aggression, control, and cruelty. They became power-hungry.

Those with the dominant female energy not only had to suppress the male energy within themselves, they were often the target of the controllers and aggressors. Their passive nurturing qualities often transformed into neediness, deviousness, passive-aggressiveness, and victim mentalities. They lost their sense of empowerment.

Many of both genders suppressed the parts of themselves that did not line up with societal norms. Some overrode their dominant energy and embraced the traditional male and female roles in an effort to protect themselves. Others ignored the supportive energy and fell prey to the negative aspects of the dominant energy. They weren’t embracing the fullness of their true natures.

In not accessing these complementary parts of ourselves our divine natures became subdued: we forgot about nurturing the gods and goddesses within us. And as power and control became the mainstay of society, little importance was placed on the subtler aspects of living.

The feminine energy was ignored in those who held it as a supportive energy and muffled in those who held it as a dominant energy. We became hardened. Life became hard and harsh. (Below is a link to a YouTube video to help us embrace our feminine energies).

This has been our history and we hold remnants of the reasons we choose to suppress within our cellular memory. This is why power, control, greed, unfairness, inequality etc. are so hard to overcome. However, we all hold a distant memory of our beginnings within us – of when we had this balance and could wholly express ourselves.

Our soul remembers! This imbalance we now hold has caused inner-conflicts within our unconscious. Inner-conflicts have to be expressed – one way or another – either through self-sabotage and/or projection onto others. These flawed ways of expressing ourselves created a fertile ground for the negative aspects of both the male and female energies to flourish.

The Importance of Balancing Our Male and Female Energies

If society had been more evolved and individuals balanced emotionally and spiritually we would not have been in danger because of the way we expressed our sexuality. Gender roles would not have been so fixed, and whichever roles people took on would not have created problems for them.

The differences between the traditional male and female energies would have been recognized as complementing each other, and all qualities, however overt or covert, appreciated for their value – whether the person expressing them was in a male or female body.

Up until recently the negative aspects of both our male and female energies have continued to prevail over the positive ones. This is starting to change, but it has affected individuals, groups of people, and the collective.

It is time for us to acknowledge and address the unfairness and inequalities this imbalance of our male and female energies has created. It is time to move into our next evolutionary phase.

Rebalancing Our Male and Female Energies is a Win / Win Undertaking

We are now at the pinnacle of our evolution and we are moving into a phase where we are to discover and embrace our true natures. To find balance within all areas of our life. This is part of the cosmic plan. (Below is a link to my article/post: “We Are at the Pinnacle of Our Evolution”).

The light and love now surrounding our Planet is encouraging us, individually and collectively, to reach for what represents love: authenticity, self-love, and empowerment for ourselves; and compassion, fairness, equality, and acceptance for all others. It is time for us to overcome the negative attitudes and behaviors that have plagued Humanity for so long.

Although it may seem that prejudice, unfairness, inequality, and mental, physical, and sexual abuse are more rampant than ever, this is because these are being brought to the surface – for healing. We cannot address what is hidden.

The unearthing of all of these negative attitudes and behaviors is what will cause the dictates of society to change. And we are demanding changes.

In all areas of society, equality for all, a voice for people to speak out, and empowerment for those who have been mistreated or disenfranchised is being supported by mainstream. Imbalances of our norms and in our laws that affect individuals and groups of people are being challenged.

Part of this rebalancing and rediscovering of our true natures is the understanding of and allowing for both the male and female energies within us to be acknowledged, recognized for their full value, and allowed to emerge – without negative repercussions. We have to encourage this rebalancing.

  • We have to allow for the less dominant of the male and female energies within people to come forth. This will start to alleviate the negative attitudes and behaviors of the unconscious inner-conflicts the suppression of these triggered.
  • We have to allow for peoples’ sexuality to be expressed whichever way feels natural and authentic. We have to allow for our true natures to come forth.

With this rebalancing those who hold a predominant powerful, male energy will be inclined towards its positive aspects, as allowing for the secondary female energy’s influence will soften the edges of their attitudes, behaviors, and decisions.

Those holding a predominant gentle, nurturing female energy will confidently allow the positive aspects of their nature to shine forth, while allowing the secondary male energy within them to ensure they remain empowered.

Those in female bodies will be able to tap into the builder, protector part of themselves if they wish to, but without needing to employ aggressive tendencies. Those in male bodies will be able to tap into the communicator, nurturer parts of themselves without being needy, demanding, or falling prey to victimization.

The Importance of Balancing Our Male and Female Energies

These shifts will create win / win situations for individuals and Humanity as a whole. Those who suppressed feminine energy and start to access it will feel calmer and less pressured. And we will all benefit from reduced aggressive, controlling, and power-hungry tendencies. Those who suppressed male energy and now start to access it will feel more confident and empowered. These individual shifts will have ripple effects and cause less pressure on society.

To create the space for this to happen we have to let go of beliefs and ideals that are outdated – especially those that were born from within eras or societies where control, aggression, and unfairness were rampant.

We have to understand that the patriarchal society we inherited no longer works. We have to let go of judgement: of what we don’t agree with or understand.

We want to become a fully functioning society. And to do that we have to become balanced mentally, physically, and spiritually. Finding the balance between our male and female energies will help us balance our physical and spiritual realities.

In The Soul of the Messenger, Hesketh makes the comparison between the balance of our male and female energies to “the compatibility of body with spirit.” He suggests that when body and spirit are out of balance “either body dominates spirit to the point of outright denial of anything non-physical, or that spirit cannot reconcile an existence in a material world leading to unfulfilled purpose and disconnection with life – a stranger in a strange land.” (2)

Making Space for the Negative Aspects of the Male Energy to Heal

We all know that the victims of this patriarchal society we were born into need a safe space to heal. But so do the aggressors!

Our history has shown that those with the dominant male energy used its power and unleashed aggressive tendencies to control, marginalize, and abuse women – and other males with the female energy – emotionally, physically, and sexually.

Many movements in the last century aimed to dislodge the inequalities our patriarchal society brought about, such as a women’s right to vote early in the 20th century and the feminist movement of the 1960’s.

Great roadways were made. However, the problem was always seen, perceived, and discussed as a women’s issue. As if the victims are the problem. Not on the perpetrators – who are the problem. This is changing.

As we move into this next phase of our evolution we will continue to address the issues these controlling and abusive behaviours brought about for both women and men (and any other minority who has been marginalized or abused) and work together to support their healing and movement towards equality.

But we will now also be addressing the real cause. The misuse of the male energy. Recent events have brought male aggression to the surface.

The recent focus of the rampant misuse of power and sexual misconduct have given us all cause to examine our pasts. Many women are discussing their experiences, however subtle, among themselves.

Some are probing their pasts to see if they were ever treated unfairly – because of their gender, sexual orientation, or of another having power over them – and how and why this was allowed to happen. Many men who have been sexually mistreated or abused are also breaking their silence.

And there is support from all levels of society for those who are stepping forward. Women and men who have been manipulated, sexually maligned, or even sexually abused are eager to find their voice and step into their empowerment. Be allowed to recover their sacred selves.

Some courageous men are also examining their conscience to determine if they have held or have acted upon any of the negative aspects of the patriarchal attitudes our society is based on. Most must be afraid to look. Our society is built on judgment and blame, not on understanding why we do what we do, so their fear is justified.

Just like we have to create the space for women to heal, we also have to create the space for men to heal – in safety. But before healing comes acknowledgement. We can only acknowledge something when we know there is safety in the knowing.

When we understand that all our negative and disempowering attitudes and actions are a left-over affect of our past history, recognize that we can change them, and believe that we will be supported in our efforts, safe havens will be created to examine and deal with disempowering attitudes and behaviors towards others.

Most men’s attitudes and behaviors towards women are fair. In light of recent events, some men may be examining their attitudes, motives, or behaviors and decide to make minor shifts. And of course, any manipulative or outright abusive behavior, or any kind or criminal actions need to be treated appropriately.

The Importance of Balancing Our Male and Female Energies

We don’t manifest here on earth to be abusive, controlling, or power-hungry. However, we were all born into a society that endorsed and promoted it – and still does to a certain degree.

Men too are eager to step into their sacred masculinity – to learn to use their power wisely and as was intended. It may not be at the forefront of their awareness, but many are feeling rumblings within their beings that something is off. And a new wave of pioneers are stepping up to guide us.

Today some brave and enlightened souls (see links below for Katz and Eisenstein) are stepping forward to address the negative attitudes of our patriarchal society head-on.

They are attempting to unravel it all. To explain how to recognize any subtle attitudes men may hold that undermine others that they are not aware of.  To encourage them to address and make amends – if necessary – for any negative and/or disempowering attitudes or patterns of behaviour they may hold or have held regarding women, or men with the dominant female energy.

We are all being guided towards understanding why we do what we do, to question our motives, and to take responsibility for how our attitudes and behaviors affect others.

It is a wonderful time to be alive – and a bit scary too – to witness and/or partake in this evolutionary stage we are in. In most areas of the world equality will blossom this century. It is our cosmic time to do so.

We just have to look at the young souls here on earth now – listen to how the youth of today think – and hopefully heed their advice and follow their lead. They have shown up on the planet at this time in our evolution – demanding fairness, equality, acceptance, and safety for all – so that they can help us all more clearly navigate our way to a brighter future.

We must always remember that extending love, fairness, and empowerment to others brings love, fairness, and empowerment into our lives.

Let’s allow for and support everyone in being authentic;

Of expressing their true natures – the fullness of their beings –

without fear of repercussions;

So that we too can express the fullness of our beings and become all that we can be.


(1) G.W. Hesketh, The Soul of the Messenger (Nine Hawks Books; 2015). 62.

(2) Hesketh, 64.

~ Rosemary McCarthy©, March 2018.

See here for Drew Tracy’s video “Releasing Feminine Energy,”

See here for my Blog Post “We Are at the Pinnacle of Our Evolution.”

See here  for one of Dr. Jackson Katz’s many videos on violence against women being a man’s issue.

See here: For Charles Eisenstein’s article on healing the masculine.


This article/blog post is an expansion of concepts in my book,Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and  Science. “Book Synopsis” is found here 

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