Six Steps that Guide Us to Being our Best Self

You can read more about the book this is based on by clicking on “Book Synopsis” above.

There are six steps that help us remove the blocks to our inner peace and harmony and to the truth of who we are. They play an important role in pointing us toward our more-positive Best Self by uncovering unconscious influences, false perceptions, and misinterpretations that engender ideas of who we need to be and what we need to do to be happy and feel peaceful and empowered in life.

1)Recognizing: At any point in life we may look at ourselves and realize I’m not happy; I don’t like myself; or I don’t like the direction my life is taking. The recognition that something is off may come about slowly, as small awareness creep into consciousness, or in the wake of a pivotal or life-changing event. Somehow we recognize that the way we are going about life is not working, or that our expectations are based on false premises.

2) Acknowledging: Once we recognize that something is off in our life, the next step is to look honestly at our expectations and our reactions, and to acknowledge that at least some of our life situations and frustrations may have more to do with how we navigate life rather than others’ around us or bad luck. This acknowledgement puts us onto the path toward healing and wholeness.

3)Understanding: As we allow these acknowledgements to surface, slowly we will be given insights so that we can start to connect the dots between our misperceptions and false beliefs and how we experience life. Once we get in touch with our feelings and connect the dots, we begin to understand how our false beliefs or perceptions and/or past hurts influenced our attitudes and that many of the frustrations we blamed on others or on life actually came from our own feelings and their respective reactions.

While this realization may come with mixed emotions, such as anger or embarrassment, this understanding will enable us to make peace with our past and how it influenced us, so that we can eventually move past its affect on us. This will have a huge impact on how we now feel. This understanding also brings with it the knowledge that we can affect the direction our life takes by making some attitude or life changes.

This is a good time to take up journaling, as putting words to our thoughts and feelings can help us understand and pinpoint issues we cannot easily access, and make connections to long-buried emotions. It also helps to talk things out with another person, be that a close friend, minister, professional, or a healing and sharing workshop that deals with our inner workings. At some point an internal shift begins to take place and with it an understanding of what is not working for us and why, and how to move in the direction of peace and happiness.

4) Forgiving: Self-forgiveness, forgiving others, situations, and the world is paramount in moving past what is keeping us from becoming our Best Self. We have all only ever acted from misperceiving who we are, as most of us have not been taught to connect to our True Self, and therefore have not acted from pure love.

Self-forgiveness:  No matter what “bad things” we have thought, believed, supported, done, or not done, we can turn our lives around and rise above what has held us in negative attitudes, what has hurt us or others, and what has kept us from being our Best Self. Self-forgiveness requires giving up and releasing guilt and shame, or any form of self-condemnation. These are only tricks of the mind which have no form or substance, as their underlying causes are in the past and should therefore be relinquished. However, to fully move away from self-condemnation we must shift our mental image to also see all others as forgiven and innocent. This aligns with the biblical phrase that “as you see others, so you shall see yourself.”

Forgiving Others: With the understanding that we are all just playing out the misperception of who we are through different forms of negativity and are thereby all innocent at our core, we are able to forgive those who wrong us. If we do not forgive, condemnation remains alive in our Life Matrix (definition below) and our unconscious will not fully allow for our internal forgiveness. Remnants of guilt and shame will continue to play out in our life in negative ways creating conflicts and/or more negative situations for us.

Forgiving Situations: This is also paramount to our inner peace, because when we make peace with our life situations, however they came about or by whom, we are creating peace in our Life Matrix and thereby inviting better or more peaceful situations into our life.

Forgiving the World: With the understanding that all of Humanity has lived under the misperceptions created by living under the shadow of duality created from our beginnings, we must forgive the world―individually and collectively for all that has happened and is still happening. This does not mean condoning the wrongdoings that have and still occur in the world, but to fully anchor in the connection to Our Truth, we have to make peace with all aspects of ourselves and others regarding all current and past world situations. It is still appropriate to act in ways to make the world a better place, but we have to leave judgment, blame, vengeance, and any divisive attitudes aside. Otherwise we will simply attract judgment, blame, and vengeance back into our spheres to be played out again and again within ourselves, our communities, and on the world stage. Any divisive attitude we hold onto like, we-are-better-than-them, will add to keeping the world, and its people, divided with separate, conflicting agendas.

5) Letting go: Releasing Emotions / Shifting Attitudes: Letting go entails releasing buried emotions. It creates a lightness in our being because it lifts emotional burdens allowing for more peace and joy to come through. Releasing negativities we unknowingly allowed in our Emotional Bodies rids us of their hold on us, which in turn shifts our attitudes, improves our reactions, and wards off our propensity towards neediness. Past issues not dealt with properly have a tendency to be dragged into the present through our unconscious influences and played out through our negative Default Position. These are reflected in our attitudes and behaviors and often show up as neediness. They also affect our thoughts of the future. (There are releasing techniques in the book to help get this process going as well as worksheets that aim to bring awareness to the misperceptions, inner beliefs, and attitudes we unknowingly created that are keeping us from being our Best Self).

6) Uncluttering the Inner and the Outer: External clearing out of unnecessary possessions is a beneficial adjunct to internal clearing of emotions and excess internal baggage. It also uncomplicates our lives which helps us to further align with our True Self. Hanging on to old stuff clogs our energetic field with the past and can keep us from fully moving forward in life. The lighter our past emotional attachments, the more room there is for the new us to come forth. The less complicated our lives, the less we have to navigate through to the peace within ourselves, and the less complicated our internal world. We were not meant to lead complicated lives as this leaves no room for joy and thereby distances us from our True Self.


Once we start to shift to a more-positive Default Position and our unconscious influences diminish, we will see improvements in every area of our lives. We will first notice this in the little things, such as being less reactive. For example, if someone cuts us off in traffic, we may still react, but will start to recognize that it is more our reaction that disturbs our peace not the event itself, and we will be less inclined to react negatively in the future. The more we practice this, the more we realize it works, and the more often we will react positively to situations. Our Default Position starts to shift.

Feeling less needy, we may start to notice that we no longer get angry or bury emotions from things that used to hurt our feelings, like when a friend cancels on us at the last minute. Life-altering situations like missing that great job opportunity or not getting the house of our dreams may still disappoint us, but we will not stay upset for as long as we used to, as our connection to our True Self has grown, instilling in us more contentment, confidence in life, and faith in the future.

As the small shifts develop within us, we will not be so inclined to dwell on current or past problems, thereby making room for more-positive outcomes. We will also notice that we feel more loving, or at least more understanding of people in our lives even though they have not changed or are still under the influence of the negative. We may also feel better able to express ourselves confidently, without anger, revenge, or fear of belittlement, and be able to walk away from situations that no longer serve our purposes, without regret or shame over why we stayed so long.

As we eliminate activities that stress us or those we are no longer enthusiastic about we become more energized and aligned with our True Self. Our habits will begin to change, and the Law of Attraction will reward the new vibrations this creates by allowing more life-affirming experiences into our spheres. If we finally find the courage to make necessary life-altering changes, we become more confident and fulfilled, as making changes for the better and taking control of our lives is empowering.

Life Matrix: Is the lens through which we see and navigate the world. It holds all our underlying perceptions or misperceptions and all our unconscious influences. It supports what we think we need to be, as well as what we think we need to do to uphold our perceptions, whether real or false. (chapter 1)

Rosemary McCarthy, October 2016

This article is an expansion of the section “Six Steps to Unravel What Is in the Way of Accessing Our Truth” from chapter 3, What We Can Do About It.

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Below is a peek into a few other concepts in the book:

Improving our attitudes helps change the world, as every shift in attitude affects the vibration of the Planet as a whole. (Introduction).

Our capacity to love others is in direct relationship to how much we love ourselves. (Chapter 3, What We Can Do About It).

The highest purpose of our relationships is to work out our unconscious influences: our fears, neediness, vulnerabilities, misperceptions, and false notions about love. (Chapter 5, Relationships)

Being somewhat enlightened means that we have some awareness of the cause and effect of our thoughts, attitude, and actions, and of our interconnectedness. (Chapter 6, Words, Symbols, Rituals, Concepts, Prayers).

We can reconcile our apparent relationship with extra-terrestrials with our belief systems. (Chapter 7, Science).

Our need to reconcile what we put upon the Indigenous peoples is in direct relationship to our countrys’ successful advancements. (Chapter 9, The Planet and Abundance)

At levels beyond our awareness we chose to be here at this time of ‘The Shift’ to help bring about our and Gais’s Ascensions. (Chapter 10, Ascension).

The Importance of Embracing Unity Consciousness (Conclusion).


Copyright © 2016 by Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this article simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website are included. You can contact me at: Blessings, and thank you kindly.


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