Relationships are the vehicle that best allow us work out our issues.
Our pains and fears. Our neediness. Our aggression. Our protective devices.
Where we most play out our reactionary styles.
This is especially true in our familial relationships – especially our significant others.
This is a quote from Your Journey to Peace … About Book HERE
Our Couple Relationships
What most of us look for in our intimate relationships is companionship, and for the other to love, help, and support us in life. In our younger days we may look for the right person to build a family with. We may also look for a partner to offer us security. And from a human perspective this is all fine.
However, from a higher, spiritual perspective, the purpose of all our relationships is for soul growth: to connect more fully to our True Self and the love and sense of empowerment it holds. In fact, all our interactions with others offer us opportunities to come from that place of love – and to offer the qualities of love to others. (Qualities of love explained in book).
Our relationships are the best vehicle to work through our unprocessed hurts and pains from our past, because the intimacy required and day-to-day life our differing personalities, ways of approaching life, and the various persons’s protective strategies often clash. Unconscious influences, like neediness, defensiveness, controlling tendencies, etc. then naturally arise.
Our couple relationships often hold expectations that often cannot be met. Our communication skills are often weak. With presumed, unvoiced, or misunderstood expectations and poor communication we may have hurt feelings or react badly in frustration. Our unconscious, habitual responses rear their ugly head. Instead of coming from a place of love and understanding conflict ensues.
Our relationships are actually set up to trigger our unconscious influences
by the other pushing our buttons.
This is the reason our relationships are so difficult!
In fact, we hold soul contracts with those closest to us to help us work through the conflicts that naturally arise. Our unconscious influences create barriers to living from a place of connection to our True Self, and the love and the sense of empowerment it offers us.
To connect more fully to our True Self and the love it holds we must overcome these barriers. From our soul’s perspective, our relationships are created to bring our unconscious influences to the surface for healing.
Issues that come out in our relationships are opportunities to work through our unconscious, habitual and defensive responses we erected as denial and protection mechanisms from our past.
These show up as neediness, greed, and/or unloving or aggressive tendencies. Acknowledging, understanding, and working through our habitual responses is always a good thing, as in doing so we remove the barriers to love.
Removing the barriers to love:
- We can feel love more easily.
- We can express love more easily.
- We are more confident.
- Feel more empowered.
Coming from a place of love we create harmonious relationships.
We can often even heal conflict-ridden ones.
With a little self-reflection and the courage to look to understand why we feel, react, and act in certain ways around those close to us, we can heal this disconnect to our True Self.
Our habitual responses are ego / fear based. To connect to our True Self we must be heart based. To feel joy, be happy, feel empowered, and create harmonious relationships we must be heart based.
Working towards healing our relationships is most often recommended. Of course, abusive situations are never to be tolerated.
The Chemistry We Feel With Another Can Have Many Purposes
The chemistry we feel with another is a soul calling. It may guide us towards our life-partner, or not. Sometimes the chemistry people feel with each other does not necessarily have to end in a long, or even short-term relationship.
A heart connection with a strong chemical attraction may be a left-over energetic pull from a past-life association. We may not be meant to act on the connection we feel, and the lesson to learn through the energetic pull we feel towards the other is to rise above the chemistry and use discretion in choosing a partner.
We may have an unfinished lesson to learn with the other and we are only to get together for a time (a reason or a season), for a specific purpose or to learn a lesson, and then move on.
We must always ensure that when entering into a relationship that we will feel loved, safe, and be treated kindly and with compassion so to avoid conflict and drama. Taking the time to get to know someone before becoming emotionally entangled helps avoid drama and hurt feelings.
Relationships create emotional entanglements and the unraveling from those based in neediness or left-over energetic pulls that hold drama usually carry much unpleasantness, emotional pain, and confusing pull-push scenarios.
As We Evolve, ALL Our Relationships Improve
As the effects of this Shift of consciousness Humanity is going through continues to encourage us to find joy, lightness in living, compassion and understanding towards others, and the impetus to overcome any unconscious influence we hold that undermine our self and/or create conflict with others, all aspects of all our relationships will improve.
Current relationships will become healthier, as the conflicts that are rooted in neediness, seriousness, agendas, aggression, control, protective mechanisms etc. will begin to dissolve.
As we start to become more mindful, those of us entering into new relationships will choose our partners more consciously. We will feel empowered enough to seek out people whose character, lifestyle, and values complement and align with ours.
These pairings will have many less conflicts than those based in neediness, controlling tendencies, or any other unconscious influence, but when conflicts do arise they will be resolved with calmness and integrity.
Children will benefit greatly from these attitudes. Many young parents today are already parenting consciously and embrace many of the concepts in Shefali Tsabary’s ground-breaking book, The Conscious Parent.
– Rosemary McCarthy© February 3, 2020.
Part 2 Partnering Up Consciously, Separating Consciously is will be posted next week.
here for about Your Journey to Peace …. Here for about Why We Are the Way We Are (Book 1) and info on upcoming Relationships in an Evolving World – Book 3 of my ‘Our Journeys t o Peace’ Series of books.
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Copyright © February 3, 2020 Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this post simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website www.yourjourneytopeace.com are included. You can contact me at: email@example.com. Blessings and thank you, Rosemary