Healthy Boundaries / Feeling Empowered

Healthy boundaries allow us to maintain our individualism while sharing our lives with others. Maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial to our ability to feel empowered and experience the world fully in a healthy way.

This means being open enough to others without fear of victimization, and confident enough to embrace new experiences and be all that we can be without overstepping others’ boundaries. Unhealthy boundaries keep us feeling frustrated and/or alienated and they can create conflict in our lives.

Confusing emotions about love that surrounded us growing up spawn unhealthy boundaries. They create neediness and/or defense mechanisms. Even though our boundaries are created in childhood, learning to trust or distrust is also influenced by our innate characters, as well as our souls’ journeys.

This is why within families, children can all respond differently to the atmosphere that surrounded them—whether it was filled with love and warmth or conflict and detachment.

When children do not learn how to get their physical and/or emotional needs met in healthy ways, their boundaries about love, intimacy, sharing of feelings, ideas and dreams, and about people’s intentions become confused.

This affects adult life, because our natural need for love, affection, and intimacy will be skewed and predispose us to enter into situations or relationships where our boundaries are wide open or closed shut.

As well as from our childhood experiences, our boundaries can also be affected by life circumstances. We may tighten or close them to avoid being hurt again, or throw them wide open seeking emotional stability from others. Continual disappointments from someone we trusted we may cause us to close our boundaries.

Disapproval from another may cause us to tighten our boundaries thereby closing us off to others who may be supportive of us. Profound emotional pain, such as the loss of a loved one, may cause us to close ourselves off to others in an attempt to protect our heart. Or, it may cause us to lean on others too much or for too long, creating a dependent relationship that is hard to pull away from and that prolongs our ability to create emotional stability within ourselves.

When our boundaries are wide open, we either give too much of ourselves or fall into situations where we are not appreciated. We have not developed the ability to turn away from others who don’t show us respect, understanding, kindness, or reciprocity, or from people or situations that tax us emotionally or physically.

As well as wide open boundaries causing us to be too dependent on others, they may also cause us to become codependent whereby our happiness is wrapped up in another’s and we are emotionally drawn into making them happy.

These unhealthy responses all create pull-and-push scenarios, causing heightened emotions. Conflict often ensues. We often feel hurt, that life is not fair, and blame others or the situations for our frustrations.

When our boundaries are too closed off, we shut people and new experiences out. Instead of allowing people into our lives to help us, support us, and offer us companionship, we keep them at a safe distance. We fear emotional connections. We are not open to what others have to offer us because we fear being hurt, criticized, disappointed, or rejected.

We are closed to all that life might have to offer us, because we are afraid of failure and the criticism that might come with it or to open ourselves up to new ideas or experiences whereby we might have to stretch our boundaries.

Keeping our boundaries healthy helps us feel empowered, maintain a balanced life, and have stable relationships. Unhealthy boundaries create pulls-and-pushes within ourselves and with others. They also cause us to give conflicting message to those around us. I will discuss Conditional Love / Conflicting Messages next post (see below).

I will leave you with a metaphor I once heard regarding our boundaries:

We should let others into our sphere like windows that we can open and shut—not have wide-open doorways that lets everyone in or walls that shut everyone out.

– Rosemary McCarthy©, January 2018

This article/blog post is an expanded excerpt from my book Your Journey to Peace Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and  Science. Book Synopsis is found here.

Related article Conditional Love / Conflicting Messages can be accessed on my blog

Click here for my blog page with many articles on our personal, collective, and planetary journeys to peace.

Available in print and e-book formats, click here to be directed to links to various booksellers, like Amazon, Chapters (Canada) erc.

To sign up for my newsletter, email me at rosemary@yourjourneytopeaee.com 

Click here to read the January issue. 

Click here to read the February issue. 

If you appreciate this article, I invite you to leave a review on the book’s website found here or on its Face Book page found here 

Available in print and e-book formats; links to the various booksellers are found here. 

You can share this article as long as you include the full copyright message below. If you share through Facebook (a link is below), the message will automatically copy.

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Copyright © 2018 by Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this post simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website www.yourjourneytopeace.com are included. You can contact me at: rosemary@yourjourneytopeace.comBlessings and thank you kindly. Rosemary.

Partnering up Consciously ⁄ Separating Consciously (part 2/2)

This Part 2 goes with my last post: As We Continue to Evolve Our Relationships Will Improve.  (link at bottom of this article)

The more we evolve, the more we will be able to easily trust that our hearts are showing us a true picture when choosing a life-partner (or even friends or a business partner).

We will no longer need to be so wary of our unconscious influences luring us into bad situations or have to be so vigilant at continuously examining our emotions, desires, or motives.

Nor will we have to be so cautious of others’ motives. As we will be working at high vibration capacities, our radars will be well attuned to the vibrations of others and if something is off we will cue into it quickly.

The greater our connection to our True Self the more we feel guided towards partners based on true soul parings where we encourage each other to be the best we can be.

And because our strength and self-confidence comes from within, we are not invested in changing our partner or making them acquiesce to our desires.

We also understand that our partner gets his or her strength and guidance from their True Self, and if that guidance is calling them to move on from the relationship we will not be so inclined towards drama, anger, revenge, or the plethora of negative responses breaking up has caused in the past. As well as partnering up consciously, we can also separate consciously.

(This article/blog post is based on concepts in my book Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science. Book Synopsis is found here).

Archetypes Act As Conduits to Help Us, and to Strengthen Latent Qualities Within Us

In our most recent history an intact family provided the foundations we needed to grow emotionally healthy, and when divorce or separations occurred, even if the family life was not perfect, the children felt like the rug was pulled out from under them.

This sense of loss is somewhat due to changed circumstances, but much of it is due to the way we separate and divorce. The sense of security children feel when surrounded by unconditional love when growing up is like God’s unconditional love for us.

As we become more evolved individually and are more closely connected to our True Selves, our separations will occur without the dire effects that has been so common and fueled by hurt, anger, rage, revenge, and blame.

We are already encouraging our children to look into their hearts and trust their inner guidance, and so their connection to their True Self is stronger than in past generations. This gives them an inner-strength that follows them everywhere.

As couples are inspired to separate or divorce with integrity, they will honor the promises made and will be able to agree on shared child rearing duties, day-to-day obligations, and fair distribution of finances. The children will then be much less inclined to internalize the effects of the break-up and succumb to dysfunctional attitudes or behaviors, or pass on the effects of unresolved issues regarding their parents’ separation onto their own children.

This article/blog post is a continuation of my last post. Both are excerpts from chapter 5, “Relationships” in my book Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science. The chapter titles are listed in the “Book Synopsis” of this website and found Book Synopsis is found here

~ Rosemary McCarthy©, January 2018

Related article Conditional Love / Conflicting Messages can be accessed here

Click here for my blog page with many articles on our personal, collective, and planetary journeys to peace.

Available in print and e-book formats, click here to be directed to links to various booksellers, like Amazon, Chapters (Canada) erc.

To sign up for my newsletter, email me at rosemary@yourjourneytopeaee.com 

Click here to read the January issue. 

Click here to read the February issue. 

If you appreciate this article, I invite you to leave a review on the book’s website found here or on its Face Book page found here 

Available in print and e-book formats; links to the various booksellers are found here. 

You can share this article as long as you include the full copyright message below. If you share through Facebook (a link is below), the message will automatically copy.

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Copyright © 2018 by Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this post simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website www.yourjourneytopeace.com are included. You can contact me at: rosemary@yourjourneytopeace.comBlessings and thank

As We Continue to Evolve Our Relationships Will Improve (Part 1 / 2)

(Part 2, Partnering up Consciously ⁄ Separating Consciously is found on link below).

Relationships are the vehicle that best allow us work out our issues – our pains, fears, reactionary styles, protective devices and all other unconscious influences that keep us from feeling peaceful, living in harmony with others, and becoming our Best Self.

This is especially true in our familial relationships – and in particular with our significant others.

Often we are drawn to one another so that we get together to love, help, support each other in life, to work through our unconscious influences, and/or to play out what our soul contracts dictate.

Issues that come out in our relationships are opportunities to work through them. This is always a good thing and in doing so we grow spiritually. So working towards healing a relationship is most often recommended.

However, sometimes the chemistry people feel with each other does not necessarily have to end in a long or even short-term relationship.

A heart connection with a strong chemical attraction may be a left-over energetic pull from a past-life association. We may have an unfinished lesson to learn with the other and we are only to get together for a time (a reason or a season), learn the lesson, and then move on.

It may also be that we are not meant to act on the connection we feel, and the lesson to learn through the energetic pull we feel towards the other is to rise above the chemistry and use discretion in choosing a partner.

Relationships create emotional entanglements and the unraveling from those based in neediness or left-over energetic pulls that hold drama usually carry unpleasantness and emotional pain.

As the effects of this Shift continue to encourage us to find joy, a lightness in life, and release our unconscious influences, all aspects of our relationships will improve. Current relationships will become healthier, as the conflicts that have their roots in seriousness, neediness, Perceived Needs, Hidden Agendas, and Protective Mechanism will begin to dissolve.

As we start to become more mindful, those of us entering into new relationships will choose our partners more consciously. We will feel empowered enough to seek out people whose character, lifestyle, and values complement and align with ours.

These pairings will have many less conflicts than those based in neediness and unconscious influences, but when conflicts do arise they will be resolved with calmness and integrity.

Children will benefit greatly from these attitudes. Many young parents today are already parenting consciously and embrace many of the concepts in Shefali Tsabary’s ground-breaking book, The Conscious Parent.

This article/blog post is an excerpt from chapter 5, “Relationships” in my book Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and  Science.  The chapter titles are listed in the “Book Synopsis” of this website found here 

– Rosemary McCarthy © , January 2018

Link to Part 2, Partnering up Consciously ⁄ Separating Consciously is found here  

Click here for my blog page with many articles on our personal, collective, and planetary journeys to peace.

Available in print and e-book formats, click here to be directed to links to various booksellers, like Amazon, Chapters (Canada) erc.

To sign up for my newsletter, email me at rosemary@yourjourneytopeaee.com 

Click here to read the January issue. 

Click here to read the February issue. 

If you appreciate this article, I invite you to leave a review on the book’s website found here or on its Face Book page found here 

You can share this article as long as you include the full copyright message below. If you share through Facebook (a link is below), the message will automatically copy.

———————–

Copyright © 2018 by Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this post simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website www.yourjourneytopeace.com are included. You can contact me at: rosemary@yourjourneytopeace.comBlessings and thank you kindly. Rosemary.

What Other Authors Are Saying about “Your Journey to Peace …”

By bringing the esoteric to the practical, Your Journey to Peace … maps out how we can become our Best Self, and explains how our personal, collective, planetary, and cosmic journeys are connected. (Links to more information about the book, how to purchase it, to my Blog and the book’s Facebook page, as well as to sign up for my newsletter are also below).

~ Rosemary McCarthy, June 2018

REVIEWS

“Know thyself” is one of the most important axioms handed down to us from the ancient philosophers. Your Journey to Peace… is a detailed road-map to knowing ourselves. Rosemary McCarthy explains how our wounded and false perceptions (especially our self-images) are the cause to all limiting experiences and how dismantling such perceptions and replacing them with truth is the path to peace.

Journey to Peace … synthesizes ancient and modern thought-systems to create a practical guide for navigating life and explains how we can use relationships to heal the aches of our soul, thus leading us to a life of love, happiness, harmony, and fulfillment.

 ~ Michael Mirdad,

Spiritual Teacher and author, Creating Fulfilling Relationships, Healing the Heart & Soul,
and You’re Not Going Crazy . . . You’re Just Waking Up!

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Rosemary McCarthy writes with great clarity and compassion. She gently guides the reader to explore the nature of reality and the many paths to a deeper level of fulfillment. Your Journey to Peace… is a sweeping body of work that draws upon the author’s deep wisdom while also interweaving leading edge resources from other master teachers, mystics and social scientists.

Your Journey to Peace… is a comprehensive guidebook for a new generation—an essential addition to any spiritual library. 

~ Carol Lynn Fitzpatrick, 

Author and visionary, A Call to Remember, Follow Your Heart Change the World. 

 www.onenessofbeing.org/

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In her excellent book, Your Journey to Peace: Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science, Rosemary McCarthy gives us a comprehensive summary of the complete spiritual journey, and how its process relates to, and is ultimately connected to, the major human expressions of the truth.

I highly recommend this work to all who are on a spiritual path. You may find that it helps you accelerate your journey to a home we have never really left.

~ Gary Renard,

best-selling author, The Disappearance of the Universe trilogy.

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Journey… is such a great pleasure to read. After perusing Contents, I was eager to see how you wrote about many topics and I jumped all around. You explain everything with clarity, warmth and personality – this is so important for readers who are just awakening. And, as you can imagine, it was lovely to find that information in the five Matthew books and his messages is so aligned with the numerous parts of Journey I’ve read so far.

I am so impressed with your work!  The huge amount of research that went into this is remarkable – Matthew is in excellent company! – and so is the time you devoted to the parts from p. 401 on.

 ~ Suzanne Ward

Channel for Matthew Ward. www.matthewbooks.com

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Available in Print and E-book Formats.

Book Synopsis found  here

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If you appreciate this article, I invite you to leave a review on the book’s website found here or on its Facebook page found here 

You can share this article as long as you include the full copyright message below. If you share through Facebook (a link is below), the message will automatically copy.

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Copyright © 2018 by Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this post simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website www.yourjourneytopeace.com are included. You can contact me at: rosemary@yourjourneytopeace.comBlessings and thank you kindly. Rosemary.

Grace Can be Bestowed upon Us; We Can Also Invoke a State of Grace

Grace Can be Bestowed upon Us; We Can Also Invoke a State of Grace

Grace is considered divine guidance and protection. It gives us the wisdom to navigate life, the strength to make peace with or surmount difficult situations, and the courage to make necessary changes. Grace can be bestowed upon us, but we also invoke a state of grace when we align with the qualities of universal love.

Grace can manifest as aha moments that allow us to shift our attitudes or give us clarity for the direction we need to take. It can also manifest in more tangible ways, like being guided to a book, program, or person(s) that will help, support, or comfort us. Grace can also be defined as the ability to deal with what we must in a loving way.

Leonard Cohen explains grace and navigating life beautifully in the documentary Ladies and Gentlemen … Mr. Leonard Cohen. When asked what his daily habits were, Cohen replied that if he woke up feeling in a “state of grace,” he would continue on with his day, and if he did not awake in that state, he would go back to bed.

When asked what he meant by a state of grace, Cohen said it was feeling able to transcend the situations that the day would hold. He said that if we strive for the world and everything to be perfect, we will always struggle, but if we aim to go with the ebb and flow of daily life in a peaceful way we can surmount any situation that may surface in our life.(1)

(This article/blog post is based on concepts in my book Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and Science. Book Synopsis is found here).

Archetypes Act As Conduits to Help Us, and to Strengthen Latent Qualities Within Us

Although some may view Cohen’s attitude of going back to bed as avoiding life and its difficulties, I see it as a mature, conscious approach. If we attempt to deal with difficult situations and fail, we often amass guilt and/or create conflict or negative karma and thereby bring about more difficult situations. Avoiding what we know we cannot handle at any moment in time is being honest with our self and simply smart.

While writing this book over the past several years, especially while surrounded by the reading material I had immersed myself in to prepare for this undertaking, I often felt infused with grace—as if in a bubble of complete peace and serenity. Even when I was working longer hours than I ever had or thought I could manage, I felt peacefully energized when working on the book.

Grace, light, energy, and unconditional love are continuously being beamed to us from the higher realms and to the Planet as a whole. We have the power to receive and anchor these gifts within our beings, as well as to manifest them in our lives. Spirit is always pulling strings in our favor, or as Joyce Meyer says, “God’s angels get to work for us.”(2)

If we live wholeheartedly, without fear, and in faith that we are loved and looked after we open ourselves up to the grace, light, energy, and unconditional love available to us. We can then take full advantage of the power these hold and opportunities they help us create.

To exist from a place where the floodgates of the Universe are open to us, we simply have to keep the airwaves open.  We must honor the Universal Laws of Openness and Attraction. (Discussed in chapter 2, “Universal Laws, Kingdom Principles”).

Allowing the Grace in that Surrounds Us at this Time of the Shift and Ascension

At this time of the Shift and Ascension we have the potential to reactivate our twelve-strand DNA and take advantage of all this brings with it (twelve-strand DNA activation is discussed more fully in chapter 7, “Science”). However, we must ensure that there are no roadblocks.

Choosing the aspects of love and hope over those of fear and pessimism raises our vibrations. This makes our bodies more malleable and our energetic fields can allow cosmic light through. And the more we do so the more natural it becomes. As we allow cosmic light in it rekindles the light within us (something we never lost but forgot how to access).

In “Reclaiming Your 12-strand DNA,” Julianne Everett tells us that we are surrounded by so much grace right now that we have the ability to move quickly with Gaia in her Ascension, but that to allow this grace to permeate our beings, we must release the pain that separation and fear have inflicted upon us.(3)

This is why we have recently been encouraged to face our personal and collective pasts and overcome the effects of any misalignments from universal love that were put upon us or that we perpetrated, as the negative energies associated with these block cosmic flow.

We are then free to take advantage of the grace now available to us which will encourage us to find what brings us joy and/or to fulfill our life purpose—be that embracing our passions, helping others, animals, or the Planet, immersing ourselves in nature, or listening to music attuned to the higher vibrations in the Universe. These all help us to balance our energetic beings with the joy-filled universal vibrations inherent in the nature of the cosmos.

This article/blog post is an excerpt from my book Your Journey to Peace, Bridging the Gap Between Religion, Spirituality, Psychology, and  Science.  The chapter titles are listed in the “Book Synopsis” which is found here    

– Rosemary McCarthy©, January 2018

Notations

1)Leonard Cohen, Ladies and Gentlemen … Mr. Leonard Cohen, directed by Donald Brittain and Don Owen, originally filmed in 1965, rebroadcast on Sundance Channel, January 20, 2013.

2)Joyce Meyer, daily broadcasts, https://www.joycemeyer.org/broadcasthome.aspx.

3) Julianne Everett, “Reclaiming Your 12-Strand DNA,” Golden Age of Gaia, October 17, 2011, http://goldenageofgaia.com/2011/10/julianne-everett-reclaiming-your-12-strand-dna/.

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Click here for my blog page with many articles on our personal, collective, and planetary journeys to peace.

Available in print and e-book formats, click here to be directed to links to various booksellers, like Amazon, Chapters (Canada) erc.

To sign up for my newsletter, email me at rosemary@yourjourneytopeaee.com 

Click here to read the January issue.

Click here to read the February issue.

If you appreciate this article, I invite you to leave a review on the book’s website found here or on its Face Book page found here 

You can share this article as long as you include the full copyright message below. If you share through Facebook (a link is below), the message will automatically copy.

Below is a peek at a little more inside the book:

Humanity is going through a Shift. It is our cosmic time to wake up from the illusion of our separateness from the Oneness we emerged from – and from our separateness form each other. (Introduction).

 Improving our attitudes helps change the world, as every shift in attitude affects the vibration of the Planet as a whole. (Introduction).What Is Held in Our Minds Is Reflected onto the World Stage. (Chapter 1, Why We Are the Way We Are)

Our capacity to love others is in direct relationship to how much we love ourselves. (Chapter 3, What We Can Do About It).

Our Relationships Are Pre-set Soul Contracts: The highest purpose of our relationships is to work out our unconscious influences: our fears, neediness, vulnerabilities, misperceptions, and false notions about love. They are set up to bring these misalignments from our True Self to the surface – for healing. This is why we find our close relationships so difficult.  (Chapter 5, Relationships)

We are not exercising true free will if we live under the tutelage of unconscious influences. (Chapter 6, Words, Symbols, Rituals, Concepts, Prayers).

We can reconcile our apparent relationship with extra-terrestrials with our belief systems. (Chapter 7, Science).

Our planet is a living, breathing organism … and just like us she has to cleanse herself of toxins – the physical and emotional toxins we have put upon her. (Chapter 9, The Planet and Abundance).

At levels beyond our awareness we chose to be here at this time of ‘The Shift’ to help bring about our and Gais’s Ascensions. (Chapter 10, Ascension).

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Copyright © 2017 by Rosemary McCarthy. All rights Reserved. To copy, share, or distribute this post simply ensure the content is copied in its entirety, is unaltered, and is distributed freely and for no monetary or personal gain, and that this copyright notice and the link for the article and the website www.yourjourneytopeace.com are included. You can contact me at: rosemary@yourjourneytopeace.comBlessings and thank you kindly. Rosemary.